Sunday, March 6, 2011

My Epiphany to the Paradox of Serving God and Mammon

I've been struggling with the scripture in Mathew 6:24, "No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon."
To some extent, everyone serves God and Mammon. All of us have sinned while simultaneously been going through the motions. I've done it. We all do it. That's life. I understand. What I don't understand is the extent, the severity in which this happens. I have been both baffled and devastated by the number of Wonderful men: family members, teachers, bishops, stake presidents, in my life who have played their roles for years, and played them well, while simultaneously taken part in shockingly insidious behavior. The kind of behavior that goes not just against the laws of the church, but the laws of the land as well. The best people can make the worst mistakes, but this doesn't mean they are the worst people - though I believe this with all of my heart, it is hard to watch the best fall. It is hard to know I have been deceived. It is hard to wonder how many more out there are currently deceiving.
This scripture, this concept, has plagued my mind for weeks now, eating away at my faith in people, my faith in everything. You can't serve God and Mammon...and yet they did! They loved their families, they loved the Lord, they sought to abide by the precepts of the Gospel, they served others, they sought to have the spirit in their homes, they lived role-Model lives...while simultaneously being unfaithful to their spouses, visiting prostitutes, abusing their children, stealing, destroying lives, lying, lying, lying. The inability to serve God and Mammon had become a paradox to me.
This morning, maybe through the gift of the Spirit, I was blessed with a beautiful epiphany. You can serve both God and Mammon. This has been proven. What you cannot do is serve God and Mammon, while being at peace with yourself. These men (and women) may have gotten away with secret lives of darkness, they may be getting away with it still, but while they secretly sin, they suffer secretly– being tormented with the knowledge of their deeds. Yes. They are still good people. But they are nothing compared to what they could be.
Repent. Now. Even if it throws your life into a chaotic whirlwind of despair, it is worth it. The respect of the world is worth nothing – if you cannot first respect yourself.