Art and English

I apologize for taking so long to update my blogsite, so much has happened I don’t know where to start. I feel like I may have been a bit mellow dramatic in my last entries so I want to start this off with a list of my favorite things about El Salvador:

-Chocolate covered bananas…Only 40 cents for heaven on a stick.

-Riding in the back of trucks….I now understand why dogs stick their heads out of the window.

-Playing” haz lo conmigo” (do as I’m doing) on the piano for the primary.

-Jump roping on our street as rain pours down through the night… there is no better way to get that hardcore satisfaction.

- Little Kevin from the Orphanage. Oh. My. Gosh. That kid is ridiculously cute.

-Being able to walk through the pages of a national geographic magazine.

Now for some of the things I miss most:

- Warm showers. Be warned dad, I will most definitely be taking a couple of VERY long showers when I get back.

- My soft bed at home…I will be sleeping in. I might even sleep in till 830 in the morning (we wake up super early here).

- Carpet. I’m even willing to vacuum it.

- Kickboxing. Taking a deep breath just doesn’t release my pent up emotions like violently attacking the punching bag does.

- Long runs. Sometimes I just need to get away….miles… and miles……….away.

- My cat Angel. Cats here are so ugly; they look more like large bony rats. I want to cuddle with my white fluffy princess. I don´t care if her hair sheds and gets all over the couch!

- Café Rio. My desire to eat the pork salad is as fierce as the cravings of a pregnant lady.

- My family and Friends. The more I miss them the more I realize how much I love them.

So I’ve somehow managed to skip the debriefing of English lessons each time I’ve written… I’m going to fix that right now. The first day I taught was one of the most disastrous failures I’ve yet to experience. I was told not to prepare a lesson because it was supposed to be a hectic struggle getting the classes organized and I would only have like 5 minutes to teach. “Just introduce yourself and ask them what they want to learn these next couple of months,” I was told. I ended up having a half an hour to teach that day. Twenty five students, most of them adults, sat in my class waiting. I had Zero lesson plans. Zero preparation.

“All right!” I said, trying to pretend like I knew what I was doing. “My name is Miss Freeman and I’m from the United States I’m excited to be here teaching you!” I was sweating profusely. It wasn’t just that I was nervous; it was hot in the classroom, REALLY hot. There was no air conditioning and the closed windows trapped in the heat like an oven slowly cooking our jam packed classroom.

“Puedo abrir las ventanas?”

“No los carros en la calle hacen mucho sonido y no podremos escuchar te, (the cars on the streets make a lot of noise and we won’t be able to hear you)” they responded.

“Oh, Ok. Um, what are your names? Como se llama ustedes?” They went around the room and each said their name.

Their blank stares perplexed me so I asked the next question in Spanish. “What is it that you want to learn in this class?”

“We want to learn English.”

“Well yes, but is there any specific topic that you want me to go over? Places, people, careers?”

“Yes, we want to learn all of that.”

I panicked. I had envisioned an active conversation where we discussed our goals for the class… but they just wanted to learn English… and somehow I was supposed to teach them. Class had been going for about 3 minutes by this point. I wiped the perspiration off my forehead as my mind scrambled for something to teach, something to say, anything to break the horrible silence.

“Do you all know the alphabet in English?”

“Yes. We all ready know that,” an older man said to me.

He already knows the alphabet?! Isn’t this supposed to be a beginning class? They aren’t supposed to know anything!

“Is it going to be like this every day, just talking, or do you have a manual?” he asked me blantatly.

“No, it will be different. Today is a little crazy because classes are just starting. But there will be lessons, and homework and tests, I promise” They just stared at me indifferently. I don’t know how, but class did eventually end that day. I was overwhelmed with relief as they exited the class.

Never again will I try to teach without a lesson plan. I came prepared to the next class which drastically improved my ability to teach. I was soon enjoying myself playing games with my students and watching their progress as they learned English. They are different then most high school classes – they want to be there. Speaking English improves their chances of getting / keeping a job.

About a month ago a women from my class told me, “If I don’t improve my English in these next couple of months than I will lose my job, and so will she, and so will she and so will she.” I just about fell over. I came here with zero training, no manual, no worksheets, I have no equipment to work with (not even air conditioning), and very little time to plan my lessons - how is it that I am the one teaching them when they so badly need to learn?! In spite of the fact that I was enjoying myself the stress of the situation would often weigh me down.

Fortunately I have a companion teacher now. She is a third grade teacher and has had a lot of experience teaching ESL. I’m learning so much from watching her and her methodology for teaching. This is great since I am planning on getting my ESL endorsement and teaching English to highschool immigrants. I know that this is terribly cliche, but my greatest desire for the future really is just to make a difference, and teaching English seems to accomplish that desire.

I’ve been reading a book called “Hear my Testimony,” by Maria Teresa. She reacounts the history of woman’s suffrage throughout the civil war. The stories of torture and abuse of the Salvadoran women / people are so intense that I often have to put the book down and just tremble for a couple of minutes until I regain the courage to continue reading. It is fascinating for me to read these stories because they took place in cities that we visit daily and in a time that was not so long ago - some of the incidences even occured during my life time. Now, when I see the forlorn gaze of the older lady sitting on the bus, I wonder what ghosts could be haunting her.

In the novel Maria Teresa describes the conditions of detainment center for female political prisoners. The women were plagued with boredom because for months they would have nothing to do but sew. The description of the women’s prison was disturbingly familiar to the description of the girls orphanage where I visit. The girls are locked in the rooms and though they do have school, their only other outlet is sewing. Trying to give them some kind of an additional outlet I´ve been teaching art lessons to the girls and just playing cards with the boys…and it seems to be going well. I truly love working there. When I am talking with the girls, it isn’t about me anymore, their problems in life of developing an identity in a world that is so hopeless and chaotic, make my struggles seem pale in comparison.